As soon as we stepped out of the regal Mysore palace, the majestic elephant standing leisurely on the grass patch strewn with coconut leaves caught my eye. It was an adult male elephant, admirably placid. Absorbing the long beams of the silver sun sifting through the rain clouds and reflecting nothing. Like a black hole, one shade grey.
I thought aloud, “I’ve never had an elephant ride.” Anil couldn’t believe it. Growing up in Kerala, the land of festivals and caparisoned elephants, I had never availed the opportunity to have an elephant ride. It turned out that Anil has. I imagined him sitting fancily atop an elephant decorated with the golden caparison in the temple backyard.
That just did it. “I wanna have an elephant ride too” I whined. Four year old Ameya echoed my sentiments with a frenzied unstoppable, “me too, me too, me too.” As the whining gathered force, Anil caved in and walked to the counter that said. ‘Elephant ride: foreigners: Rs.150; others: 100.’
By the time we got the tickets, the elephant had already set out along the trail around the palace bearing two white guys and their Indian friend. We were asked to wait on the wooden make-shift stairs from where we would climb on to the elephant’s back when it would arrive at the foot of the stairs. Anil, who was not at all looking forward to an elephant ride, was quite annoyed with the cosmic forces (that includes me) which conspired against him to cast him on an elephant.
The Mysore Palace folks have two elephants. That is great for the elephants because they are downright social creatures. In forests, they live in herds. Once in a while, a few neurons in a he-elephant’s brain misfires and he turns rogue. He becomes violent, wild, aggressive, and destructive (somewhat like a bored 4 year old in an enclosed space with lots of porcelain and crystal figurines.) This behavior is more prevalent in tamed elephants which are kept in captivity away from its kind. A herd animal, it pines for company of other elephants and the cool canopied grass lands of the forest it was born. Instead of the delightful elephant troupe, it is sometimes left with a drunken sadistic mahout (Now, I am not saying all mahouts are like that. But unfortunately, quite a few are.) So one night, the languishing tusker with the misfired neuron ruminates on its plight and flares up: ‘How dare this puny imbecile treat me like dung!’ And it decides ‘enough is enough’ and tramples the unwitting groggy mahout, who comes to unfetter and bathe his pet the next morning. Whoever said vegetarian food with no spices gives the eater a satwic mind doesn’t watch a lot of Animal Planet and Discovery Channel. Hippos, bison, even the stray cows that you encounter on the back roads of Bangalore can be quite vicious.
Nevertheless, elephants had always had a momentous place in the history of the country. They have battled alongside legions of armies. I personally choose to believe that Alexander’s soldiers mutinied near Magadha because Macedonian military tactics proved insanely ridiculous and futile while fighting elephants on horseback. Well, you might choose to disagree. But didn’t the fierce and feisty horse of Alexander the Great, Bucephalus, die in one of his Indian campaigns?
I was awakened from my reverie by the jingling of elephant bells. The venerable beast walked as if it had no care in the world, no promises to keep, no miles to go before it sleeps. And it knew it always had the right of way and everyone’s undivided attention. Its unhurried pace reminded me of the Sanskrit limerick that strikes a comparison between the elephant walk and the sensuous promenade of a dazzling belle. ‘Gagaraja virajitha mantha gathi’ What a delightful, brilliant, witty simile!
But, all of a sudden, as the humongous animal approached the staircase, I felt the cold grip of fear, its black tentacles slithering around my heart, lungs, and innards. I experienced quickened heartbeat, difficulty in breathing, and churning of stomach. Now that the elephant’s huge back was right in front of us and Ameya was already trying to climb on, I knew it was too late to back off. “It’s elephant abuse,” Anil muttered, as he struggled to get on its back with Ameya. I felt the pangs of guilt. As if the fear was not potent enough to kill me.
We were asked to sit astride on a mattress fastened to the back of the elephant and hold on to the rope that went around the animal’s barrel shaped belly. The mahout sat right above the elephant’s gigantic neck wielding a metal baton with a hook at the end. Armed with the strange weapon, he looked like the formidable death god himself and I, a soul demented with fear on its way to the netherlands.
Before I was all set, (I was trying to figure out how to hold Ameya, the rope, and my backpack with just two hands) the elephant started moving. I clutched Ameya's hand and the rope. The backpack could go to hell. The mattress swayed precariously. And we swayed with the mattress. I felt the elephant’s vertebrae poking my rear uncomfortably. I was certain that we were going to slip off the mattress and fall down. I just wanted to get off and looked longingly at that receding wooden platform with trepidation and pictured our joyful reunion with that solid stationery retreat of safety and well being.
Sitting awkwardly up there, I tried to enjoy the ride. A few seconds into it, I realized enjoyment aint gonna happen. No Zen moments for me atop the elephant. “This was a bad idea.” I mumbled, although Ameya seemed to enjoy all the commotions of the locomotion.
To my utter shock, I saw the mahout hitting the elephant on its forehead and viciously tugging its loose skin behind the ears with the hook. He seemed completely unmindful of his brazenly savage act. Horror stories about miffed elephants trampling their mahouts flashed across my terror-stricken mind. One substantial angry jolt of the elephant and down will come us, cradle and all. The elephant would tear me limb from limb. He might even gore me couple times with his tusk, spilling my innards and the continental breakfast I ate snobbishly that morning. It would be such a gory and ugly sight that even my own astral body won’t look back before it sets out hopscotching from one parallel universe to another looking for a suitable embryo to inhabit and continue its search for the elusive nirvana.
To avoid all the premature wondering of my astral self, I decided to take things into my hands. I called out to the mahout and demanded, “Don’t hurt the elephant.” I sounded like an asthmatic old man. Fear has gripped my vocal chords, as well. The mahout didn’t hear or chose to ignore me. I cried out again, this time in Hindi, “Hathi ko math maro.” If there was anything more pathetic than my current mental state, it is my Hindi. I have never taken any interest in learning the language, although it was shoved down my throat for about five years at school. Now, I regretted my apathy towards my national language. It could have saved my life now. Who knew Hindi was a life saver!
I repeated my plea as the first one fell on deaf ears. Anil, probably ashamed of his terrified wife’s asthmatic old man’s voice, totally disregarded the save-elephant-campaign that I was running single handedly. The mahout strained his neck in a half hearted attempt to find the source of the unsolicited elephant-care instructions. He expected a rickety old asthmatic man and found a damsel in distress, instead. (A damsel? Who am I kidding? Myself, of course.)
As the mahout continued to poke the elephant and the elephant continued to walk his swaggering swinging walk, we continued to perch on the mattress loosely draped over the elephant’s back, like three little birds on a lone willow tree caught in the eye of a storm, going to get uprooted any minute now.
God! I remembered him like any borderline atheist would, on the verge of a painful death. I remembered that my dad’s village deity is Narasimha Moorthy, the avatar of Vishnu that is half man, half lion. It is believed that elephants never turn rogue at this temple because they feel the chastising presence of the lion god (Lion is the only animal that can potentially harm an elephant. So elephants are afraid of the Half lion god. Right?)
I racked my brain to recollect the verse praising Narasimha Moorthy and chanted a few lines that I could dig up from the crevices and ridges of my brain sodden with fear. Then the elephant halted and swerved unexpectedly to turn back and head for the staircase. Our wooden asylum. I heaved a sigh of relief and rejoiced like a prodigal soul returning to the primordial source. When my shaking legs felt the solidity of mother earth below the wooden platform, I thanked the half lion god and the full elephant.
All’s well that end’s well.